here's another song about a gender i'll never understand

For the past few saturdays at my work, there has been a 'workshop' in the basement bar for men trying to learn how to date women. Apparently, it's very expensive (600 pounds or so?), but also very thorough-- from getting her number to fingering techniques.... i fucking wish they made a take-home video. the whole concept makes me think of tom cruise's character in magnolia. this clip has my favourite line in it.



but these guys aren't quite that misogynistic... they're actually just a little sad. there is a bushy haired-man who runs the workshop who orders their dinners from me and is always very charming and polite. i'm really fascinated by someone who runs this kind of business, and wonder if he was once a totally insecure guy who couldn't get laid, but is now a believer in the program, or if he considers himself to be a successful ladies' man, and started the program to impart his wisdom on others. they also have sexy woman working with them who i think they do role-playing with... i was going downstairs to get ice, and i heard her (very authoratatively) say "no no no, guys! you're supposed to be saying 'i want you NOW... in my bed.'" i almost died.

but none of these guys are even that bad looking or anything, i mean, perhaps they're lacking in social skills... but i really hope i'm never that desperately alone. with my track record since i've been here though, it's entirely possible. i mean, it's a bit hypocritical to say, because i have rejected my fair share of pleasure-seeking gomos... and i have no idea what it is i actually want... but, like most girls, i'm never opposed to a little harmless flattery. seriously, most of the time when i'm at a bar, i'm just waiting, raw as an onion, for mr. right to come over and offer to buy me a drink. no instruction required.