wouldn't it be nice to be dorian gray? (just for a day)

Dear readers,

I have been neglecting my post; for in truth, little of interest has occasioned upon me as of late. Or perhaps I have simply tired of writing. At any rate, the studying of 19th-century British literature has been taking up the greater part of my attentions, and accounts for the flowery (yet amateur) prose which now flows from my fingertips. There was one incident where I found myself lost, cold, and alone (save for the foxes) in East London until 6 am last weekend... but it seems so distant now, it hardly feels right to recount it. Never fear however, as I have a busy social calendar arranged for this weekend, and one can only hope, will be worthy of numerous tales of debauchery and merriment. After all, a young lady must make the best of the final days of her 21st year...

please excuse me from gym

The other day as I was waiting for the train from Egham, I decided to treat myself to fish and chips from the shop around the corner. When I walked in and ordered, the ruddy-looking woman behind the front counter asked "so you're going to college then?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Oh yeah, what you studying?"
"English literature."
"I see," she said, "O-levels or A-levels?"
"Oh, I don't know," I said, "it doesn't work that in Canada."
"You know I studied English at school," she said sadly; "I got my O-levels... but not my A-levels... my O-levels though." She sighed, and handed me my fish and chips. "Would you like salt and vinegar?"

is this everything you need for a cultured city?

last night, as i was waiting for the bus to go to laura's flat, i was feeling a little homesick. i think it's the fact that i have so little confidence here--- simple things like taking the bus or getting tarted up for a night out which would always be a breeze in toronto seem like terrifying tasks here, like everyone can see that i'm a tourist and i have no idea what i'm doing. but i made it to laura's flat in southbank, and we had some wine, and then we headed out for the last show at the london astoria before it's knocked down to make way for a train station.

i'm very sorry it was the last show, because it was basically the coolest venue i've ever been to. it was also the coolest show i've ever been to... i was like a drooling kid in a candy store, except the candy was whisky and cokes and excellent rock and roll music and hundreds of pretty boys with british accents... that's right, just like in heaven.

cajun dance party played on the mainstage and they were incredible-- i definitely like them more for having seen them live. the lead singer had black eyeshadow under his eyes and looked like vampire # 2 from the lost boys... but he was also wearing overalls with his cigarettes in the front pocket. he had this hunchy theatrical manner when he sang which sort of made me think of drew.



my only lament all night was how much i wished some of my friends were there... when they played the clash i thought of jake, and late of the pier made me think of drew, and when the set ended and the libertines' horrorshow came on, i thought of the many times in toronto when we had begged the dj to play it for us. but i was elated that i was actually in a place like that. i'd never seen anything even remotely like that party in toronto. it was like my dream party. maybe when i get back i should start throwing parties for a living... i could be bigger than the jons!

after the set we ran upstairs to catch good shoes on the smaller "stage"-- more like a glorified hallway that was so packed to the gunnels, with no raised stage platform, that the band was constantly begging for the crowd to step back so they had room to play, and i never actually saw the band over the dozens of sweaty heads in front of me. the set, and especially the vocals were much more raw than on the album, but it was great, and they played four new songs. the feeling of euphoria and place and history seemed to be running through the crowd, or maybe just through my head, but the band announced that they were playing the last song ever at the historic london astoria-- good shoes' morden-- and as we screamed about the london borough, i felt like i was a part of something... or at any rate it was a lot of fun.

the trip back was considerably better than there... i was riding high on a good night and a double decker bus. and when i got to my door i met a new friend... a little red fox! he looked at me. i was still grinning when i woke up this morning.

all the things i own i will share with you

Today i went to the Saatchi Gallery, where there was an all-Chinese artist exhibition. It was amazing:

this "angel" figure was extremely realistic, and its skin and grey-haired were pretty weird and disturbing. they were so tactile.




I feel as though he and I have a few things in common.

This piece was the coolest, and very bizarre. The men in motorized wheelchairs are extremely life-like, all made to look like old men in military costumes and wheeling independently around the room, while disoriented observers try and navigate between them...

I love this one. The man looks so perplexed.

Afterwards I went to the Tate Modern. I took a few photos of the installation in the lower galleries, which was like an insanely huge spider thing, with bunk beds underneath with books attached to them, with some "outdoor sculptures" and a video playing at the end. The idea was that we are in the future, and outdoor scultpures have to be brought in so they don't get wrecked, because it is constantly raining. It seems to me you have to come up with something like that in order to fill the enormous warehouse-sized space. Last time I was there it was a sound piece.

It was probably a good thing that you're not allowed to take pictures inside the actual gallery. There was just too much to look at, and I always find art galleries are so exhausting anyway-- my eyes actually start to hurt. Too much to compute. The great thing is that it's free, so i can go back anytime.

Afterwards I walked across the 'Millenium Bridge' to St. Paul's Cathedral:

When I got inside, there was a mass going on and the choir was singing. It was so beautiful that I had to sit down to listen until it was over. I'm not religious, but the architecture and the music were so powerful, and made me feel calm. I thought about my grandpa.

All in all, it was a good day.

look left, look right, cross the road, and hold my hand

i haven't written since my first day here, which i'm sure has frustrated my hundreds of readers. to be honest, i'm not all that comfortable writing for an audience, it feels very narcisisstic. but there's no use fighting that.

on thursday i did a bunch of sightseeing, the typical london monument circuit, it was a nice day and i felt really content and happy and took lots of pictures. i didn't get to see everything i wanted to, but it's nice that i'm here for so long so there's no rush.

that night i met up with kate and bry, and we had dinner and drinks-- i had fish and chips and mushy peas, which were delicious, but apparently have no nutritional value once mushed. i tried some beer which was labelled "london's finest", but it was gross and warm, which apparently is pretty common here, and ice is non-existent. i get the feeling sometimes that the british have no desire for some modern or north american conveniences, out of some sort of pride or tradition-- after all, londoners didn't have cold beer in the victorian era, so why start now?

anyway, we got quite drunk, which kate insisted was necessary, as we had about a 2-hour trip back to egham and needed to keep the energy up. we agreed to get "g&t's" -- gin and tonics in a can at the convenience store on the way back-- i was quite excited about this-- but alas, they were all out, so i'll have to remember to try that some other time. it was a long, misty walk back to her residence, and a great way of being introduced to the impressive main building at my school.

too quickly after laying my head down on kate's hard floor, i had to get up to go to my school orientation. i kept getting awful flashbacks to frosh week, as i awkwardly tried to introduce myself to people, to avoid giving off the impression that i was a cold bitch, which i really was feeling like anyway, being hungover and in no mood for small talk. i ended up meeting a few people, it turns out most of the exchange students are americans, and some of the ones i met seemed very american , complaining the whole time about this and that, the cold, the food, the hard spray in their shower, blah blah, while i thought to myself how i didn't care about any of those things, i'm just so thrilled to be here, exactly where i've been dying to go for so long. one of the girls i met looked and talked a lot like kim kelly from freaks and geeks, which secretly amused me. everyone was very college-y, there were lots of ugg boots and hairbands and american eagle, but i guess that's just what all college kids are generally like in the states. a guy from boston asked me if toronto has all underground tunnels because it's so cold, which made me laugh.

during the presentation a civilian policeman from egham spoke about safety, and it was too weird, it was like straight out of thst movie hot fuzz-- he was this old, stout man who spoke very thickly, and insisted that egham was one of the safest towns in britain, and "not to believe rumours" about murders and attacks in graveyards, and this and that, because those were isolated incidents that had nothing to do with students, which all seemed very cryptic. he also emphasized to "steer clear of youths outside shops", and especially not to look them in the eyes.

now i'm trying to get through reading my first novel of many for class tomorrow, gaskell's cranford. reading for hours at a time about the tedious daily events of a small british victorian town isn't exactly thrilling, but then again, i suppose the same could be said about reading a blog.

I checked myself in at the YWCA

i'll have to stop this half a person theme soon, as i think i've exhausted it. hopefully this will be the most boring of my entries, as i really haven't done anything yet, but i also have no one to talk to, so i feel like recounting my journey. the flight was fantastic, considering i love airplane food, i got to choose my own movies, and i only had to go to the bathroom twice. more importantly, i had a great view flying over toronto last night, during which i said goodbye and thought of all the tiny people i was saying goodbye to below.

this morning was considerably more difficult, as i had about 140 pounds worth of bags to drag from the airport onto the tube and a bus and to my new front door. luckily a few nice gentlemen helped me along the way, and called me 'love'. at one point i looked pretty pathetic trying to drag two giant suitcases up two flights of stairs-- apparently handicapped people don't take the subway here. also, it was four pounds for the tube and two for the bus, which seems ridiculously expensive, and you couldn't buy tickets at the bus station, but they let me pay on the bus even though there was a sign saying you couldn't, which at the time, on no sleep, and dragging those mother-fing bags was all very stressful. i also stopped at the wrong front door, and a very nice looking boy was there and i tried to explain the situation but i must have sounded like a sweaty idiot, which was compounded by my realizing that this was not actually the right door.

but i got here and i slept for a few hours, thankfully, and now it's dark and i'm starving but i don't have any idea where to get food, so i'm just going to wait for my other roommates to get here and hopefully they'll bring up the subject. it's not exactly caesar's palace, but i can certainly get used to it. my bed is extraordinarily small, so anyone hoping to visit me better be ready to spoon. i've already met carl (karl?) who is in a band but seems about as shy as me, so we are both on our laptops with bbc news in the background; it's hilarious, because the biggest news story right now is that it's exceptionally cold here-- "the temperature is barely above freezing in many areas today, and in some cases, the ice is very difficult to see". indeed, hundreds of people have already fallen on the ice on their front steps. the government is giving a 25 pound bonus to everyone living in a place where the forecast is below 0 for 7 days in a row-- i don't think i qualify though.